Not long ago, I got an email from an executive with a publicly held company. She had followed several of the “Career Moves” columns that I write for the Denver Business Journal. She wrote that her business life was going downhill. In the last few years, she’s found that she no longer speaks up at meetings, that her leadership skills are tarnishing and that she doesn’t have any faith in herself. She seriously wondered how long she would be able to stay employed. After some coaching via email, I encouraged her to get my book, The Confidence Factor—Cosmic Gooses Lay Golden Eggs.
A few weeks later, I got this email. With her permission, I’m sharing it with you— “Well, I got your book as you recommended and I read it. This week, it was the first thing I would do every morning from 6 to 8 before I would start work. I also used the book for journaling thoughts and ideas about what I was going through right now. I really enjoyed reading the stories and the specific points you made really hit home.
Here are the actions I have either already started totake or that I am planning to take:
- Surround myself with people I respect and are positive.
- Mentally reinforce all my good qualities and make sure I show those qualities to others every day.
- Admit it when I have failed and move on. Be smarter the next time.
- Do more things to impress myself and don’t worry about the need to impress others so they will like me more.
- I don’t need to be in control of everything all the time.
- Realized that sometimes when people act like they really don’t get what I just said, it doesn’t make me wrong. It could be because they are not ready to hear what I have to say.
- Make a list of my accomplishments and the best experiences I have had in life so far.
- Treat others in a way that helps them to feel better about themselves.”
In a word, confidence is the reputation that you have for you. It’s not genetic; it rarely comes from having the ideal environment. It comes for the school of hard knocks, Life 101, making mistakes, and failing (and getting back up). It comes from living, not hiding in the shadows when problems and negative events surface and the ability and willingness to look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. If your confidence is ebbing and your work or personal life just doesn’t have the zing you would like, get The Confidence Factor—Cosmic Gooses Lay Golden Eggs. In it are the 10 Steps to Rebuilding Your Confidence. Learn from business pros like Jack Welch, golf wonder Tiger Woods, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor and women and men just like you and me who have had to rebuild, reinvent and recreate themselves when the chips were down.